Where do we fit in?

This past week in New Testament, we discussed Luke 15 and the parables regarding The Prodigal Son and The Coin, and The Lost Sheep. With all of these parables, we analyzed each situation and how they can apply to our lives. When one sheep wandered away from the other 99, the shepherd went and found the one that had wandered away. In the story of the coin, it was neglected and therefore ended up lost and missing, but the woman diligently searched for it and found it. In both cases, something was lost, and someone went and searched for it.

In the prodigal son, he told his father that he was dead to him and that all he wanted was his money and to be on his own. The prodigal son rebelled and chose to go astray. His dad couldn't just go looking for him, he had to wait until the son chose to come home on his own. When he did finally come home the dad ran to him and welcomed him with open arms.

Christ shared parables for us to learn from and to apply the interpretation to our own lives. Who are we? Where do we fit in? Are we the sheep that was just looking down and got lost, or are we purposefully choosing to rebel and go astray like the prodigal son?

In either case, we need to repent. God is so happy when we repent and come unto him. I know for me personally I never want to disappoint my earthly parents, and especially my heavenly parents. I don't want to be the one to leave them and be lost, or one they worry about. I want to be on the lord's side at all times. I know that I will be happier and life wont be as hard. Yes there are trials and struggles, but if I have the lord on my side, those trials and struggles will be much easier to manage.

Where are your priorities?

This past week in New Testament, we talked about Christ and his apostles, when Jesus told them how to instruct and teach the people. In Matthew 10:37 it says; "he that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more that me is not worth of me." This piece of scripture reminds me of a talk in General Conference the past week where Elder Oaks talked about priorities, and that we need to make sure that we have our priorities in the right place. It is okay to have other priorities, as long as Heavenly Father/Jesus Christ are our number one priority. If you think about it , it shouldn't be hard to make that our number one priority because in the long run, the goal is to end up with our Father in Heaven.  In Mathew 10:30 it says: "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered," not just some, but every little tiny hair. We matter to him, no matter what. At times it may seem like we are so little and even invisible, but we need to think about the bigger picture. We are children of God, He knows us one by one. How could we not love him and want to be with him. This earth life is so small and so minute with an eternal perspective, but at the same time so important. How we live in this life will impact us forever. We need to keep our priorities straight and focus on Christ, love God and love everyone else. Be christlike, and not let little things get in the way of your eternal happiness and salvation. We are loved no matter what we do, and no one is perfect, so when we make mistakes, we need to just remember to reach toward Christ and he will help us.

Follow In Faith

This past week in New Testament, we talked about Peter when he was a fisherman, when Jesus first approached him. Peter was asked to throw the nets out again, and at this time, he was very fatigued and had just finished working all night. Peter then responded and  said: "Master, we have toiled all the night, and have taken nothing: nevertheless at thy word I will let down the net." We can learn so much from Peter's response. He had been working so hard and was so tired, but because the Savior wanted it, he did what he was asked. We need to always follow Christ, no questions asked. We don't always know why, or what is in store, but he knows best and so we must do what he asks. A lot of the time he is going to ask us to give something up, and although it may not be easy, we need to think with an eternal perspective and follow in faith. Christ won't come to us when we are completely troubled or lost, and give us an ultimatum. He will usually give us challenges, or opportunities to give up good things in life for what would be better. An example would be a mission call. With the age change, the missionaries are at a prime time in their life, and they must give up everything in order to serve the lord. It is important to always put our faith in the lord and trust in him that things will turn out the way they are supposed to, no matter how hard the sacrifice is at the time, in the long run we will be blessed.

Nothing worth having comes easy :)

This past week in New Testament, we discussed Matthew chapter 4, along with other scripture, but I want to focus on what I learned from Matthew 4. In the beginning of this chapter, it talks about when Christ was tempted by Satan after fasting for 40 days. Christ was tempted to use his priesthood power for food, to throw himself off of a cliff and to use Angels to help him, and offered him kingdoms of the world. Now Christ didn't take any of these offers, but that is besides the point. The point is that with all these temptations it doesn't matter if Christ actually did these events such as eating, but it is because it would be for the wrong reasons. Satan tries to offer us instant satisfactory for a long-term suffering. This principle applies so much in my life and I think especially right now in my life I need to make sure I keep this in mind. Yes, it would be much easier to not do assignments and say I did them, to cheat and not study for exams, but in the long run I wouldn’t be benefited. I am here in college at BYU in order to learn and to gain an education. If I were to take an easy road and cheat my way through school, I would fail miserably when it came to working in the real world. It would be easier and temporarily more enjoyable to not put forth effort, but I wouldn’t gain anything in the long run. Hard work pays off, and it isn’t easy, one of my favorite quotes is “nothing worth having comes easy,” and I truly believe it. 

In His Time

While discussing the story of Zacharias and Elizabeth, a personal story of mine came to mind. Just as a background, Zacharias and Elizabeth had been praying for a long time that they would be able to have a child. One day, Zacharias went to the temple and an Angel of the Lord came to him and said that his prayer had been answered and that they will have a son. Now my parents have a very similar story. about 11 years ago, my parents were told by doctors that their bodies didn't work and that they wouldn't be able to have any more kids. After many prayers fasting and failed attempts, they decided to stop trying. 8 years later, they were blessed with a little boy, my brother Garrett. Although unexpected and not the most ideal timing, God does answer prayers. Little did we know at the time that having another addition to the family, with such a sweet innocent spirit blessed me and my family in more ways then we could have imagined. Garrett always makes us feel loved and always keeps the sprit in the home. Heavenly Father truly knew that we needed him in our lives at this time and not 8 years sooner when we wanted him! In all things this teaches us that we need to just have faith in the Lord and trust in his timing. He knows the bigger picture and knows what is best for us! I feel so greatly blessed to know that Heavenly Father is always there for us and that he wants what is best for us, although we may think we know what that is, we don't, he does, so just trust in faith and follow Christ!

New Testament

Tonight I went to the temple with Sarah to do my scripture study for the day and for Book of Mormon. I also watched the fireside with Elder Russell M Nelson. During his talk, Motherhood and families kept on appearing into my thoughts, and also the Savior. After the fireside I couldn't stop thinking about how I need to make Christ the center of my life. While reading the assigned reading in Matthew, and all of the genealogy, it says at the end of vs 17 that there were fourteen generations. This immediately reminded me of motherhood and how that I could have 14 generations after me, and that every little decision I make will not only affect me personally, but my kids and their kids and so on. Then when reading in John, the creation of each of us by God was brought to mind, and how Elder Nelson said that as women, we are co-creators with God. Then reading about the Savior, and how the people he lived with didn't even recognize him, It made me wonder, Would I know my savior? Would I recognize him in a crowd? I want to be positive that I know him and that my future children know their savior, brother and friend, Jesus Christ. What a more perfect way then through the scriptures, they speak of Christ and in order to know him, we must read the scriptures. Not only read the scriptures, but study the teachings, and learn from them! I love my savior and I can't wait to learn more about him over the next semester.

SUMMER

Since leaving BYU, life is a little crazy working all day all week (with my six jobs) then sleeping Saturday and church all day Sunday. With farewells and everything else going on, I don't have much time to do anything but family outside of work. This summer being with my family I realize how much I take advantage of them and how much they mean to me. Garrett no matter what always makes me feel loved and shows me that the little things don't matter. Kristen teaches me patience... with our age it is not always the easiest for me to handle her, but I still love her to death. Nathan on the other hand is there to go on car rides blasting the music as loud as possible and still manages to put up with me when I beat him up (just trying to toughen him up). My mom is so amazing. words cant even describe how much I love her and what she does for me. we talk and talk and talk about everything! She listens and gives the best advice. My dad is my best friend. I have always been a daddy's girl and he still teases me as if I was seven years old and manages to still pull out the same laugh I had when I was little. When I'm feeling alone or depressed he just looks at me, gives me a hug and tells me he loves me, of course i then bawl like a baby, but I love him so much. Family means the world to me.

When I am away from them I had my BYU family. Being away from them now, I realized how much I love my college friends and how grateful I am for each of them and for the impact each and every one of them have on my life. I miss Maddy always asking me whats wrong and making sure I am okay. I miss my late night talks with Alli about life and the bigger picture. I miss stuffing my face with Sarah, not sleeping and being completely crazy and so loud, and not caring about what not anyone thinks about how drunk or lesbainish we act. I miss Lauren and our deep talks late at night up in the mountains. I miss Olivia and just everything about her, how she makes me cry from laughing so hard and of course sleeping with her, or anyone for that matter. (I realized that I hate sleeping alone...) I miss Rebecca's Cooking, Heidi's sweet spirit and how happy she always is, I miss Kathryn and how easy going she is and how she just lets me vent, I miss Jett and how she would laugh at everything! and that is just the girls... I miss all the guys too but they wouldn't see this for two years because Cole and Kurtis are the only ones left. My freshman year has changed my life, changed who I am for the better and I will never forget all the memories I created. Being away from all of it makes me miss it even more.

I LOVE BYU and can't wait to go down there in the fall again and make new memories, but not replace the old ones, just add to them. Working keeps me busy and helps the time go by fast. Crazy to think that I am turning 19, and then June will be over, then we are half way with waiting and there are only two more months til my life is a little more complete down in Provo.

Life may not always go the way I expect it to, or even want it to. With boys leaving left and right on their missions, either ones I have dated or ones that are friends, it is always sad to see them go knowing I won't see them for a long time, and I could possibly be married when they get back. But I have learned to not look for the future wishing away the days that I do have, because time flies by and life is unexpected. As long as I enjoy each day making each day count then that is how I will be truly happy and enjoy my summer away from my best friends and saying goodbye.

Just Hold On

Life is hard. No matter the decisions you make, there will always be things that make life difficult. Yes, life is better when Christ is in our lives, but it does not make it necessarily easier. There will always be hard times and trials. In my Book of Mormon class, we talked about this and how all we need to do is hold on. It is as simple as that. One of my favorite quotes is: "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." I firmly believe that. God loves us all so much, he does not want us to suffer, he wants us to be tested and tried so that we can live with him again. When we face times of trial, or think we cannot go any further, we just need to hold on. One of my favorite songs that my mom has always played for me, ever since I was little is Hold On, by Michael Mclean.

The message of this moment is so clear;
And as certain as the rising of the sun.
If your world is filled with darkness doubt and fear,
Just hold on, Hold on; the light will come.
Ev'ryone who's ever tried and failed
Stands much taller when the victory's won.
And those who've been in darkness for a while
Kneel much longer when the light has come.

It's a lesson ev'ry one of us must learn;
That the answers never come without a fight.
And when it seems you've struggled far too long,
Just hold on, hold on; there will be light.

Hold on. Hold on. The light will come.

When you feel trapped inside a never-ending night.
If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light,
If you're half crazy thinking you're the only one
Who's afraid the light will never really come

Just hold on. Hold on! The light will come.

The message of this moment is so clear;
And as certain as the rising of the sun.
If your world is filled with darkness doubt and fear.
Just hold on, hold on, the light will come

I absolutely love this song, it fits so perfectly with the lesson in Book of Mormon, we need to have faith in Christ that everything will be okay. Through our struggles we become better and stronger. We will not be given a trial that we cannot handle. Just have faith, we are never alone, Christ will always be there and we need to just follow him and have faith that everything will be okay. Whither in stressful weeks of school, or more serious temptations, just hang in there, everything will be okay in the end. 

My friend

Last week, reading the Book of Mormon, and in my Book of Mormon class, I recognized how much our Savior does for us, and how much he really loves us. It isn't even comprehendible how much he loves us. He would literally do anything for us. He died for us, and wants us to come to him to ask for his help, because he wants us to be able to return and live with him again. In 3rd Nephi, there is such an emphasis on christ and his teachings. He wants us to just take one step each day, to end up facing in the right direction, He knows we aren't perfect, he knows we all make mistakes, but we just need to keep trying and to not give up. Jesus focuses on who and individual needs, he cares about us individually, one by one he takes care of us and knows our specific needs. The law of Moses was a partial law, but today we have the fully restored law. That means there is more expected of us. Christ is the law, we need to be Christ like. He is the perfect example. My favorite part of the reading was in 3rd Nephi chapter 17 verse 20 and 21, when he said "my joy is full" and then "he wept." This goes to show that Christ is vulnerable and he opens his heart to us. He lets us in and he cries for me. I need to let him into my life and into my heart. I can't possibly be as happy as I could be with him in my life. When I am facing trials I need to have him in my life. When everything seems to be going right, I need him in my life so that I can share my joy and thank him. I love my Savior, my older brother, and Friend.

This past week in Book of Mormon, I loved more then any other week. The lessons taught and the scripture that went along with it really hit home for me. Third Nephi chapters 11 & 12 have so much spiritual doctrine in them and I will never read them the same. Tuesday's class I cried, I felt the spirit so strongly. I felt as if what Brother Griffin was saying was meant just for me to hear. When we watched the video of the atonement and when Jesus came to the Americas, I couldn't help but put myself in their shoes and think of everything he has done for me. I honestly wouldn't be anywhere without him. I make a lot of mistakes, and I have lots of things that I need to work on, but with him anything is possible. I can try and try to make things better on my own, but I will just make things worse if I try to do things without Christ in my life. In chapter 12, Christ gives us the pathway that we can follow in order to follow him. In our lives, he will be what we need him to be. We may need him as a friend, someone to help us with all our troubles, someone to lift us up and tell us everything will be okay. No matter what it is, he is there for us always and forever. With how much he does for us, I want to help him in return, What does he need me to do? He needs me to try my best, that is all he asks. When I get down,  I need to stand up. I need to try a little harder to be a little better. At the end of the day, I need to be facing in the right direction.

I posted this to my Facebook as well:

I am honestly so blessed!! I am so grateful for the knowledge of the gospel, and for all the blessings it brings to my life! I know that my savior lives and he loves me. I am never alone, and through him I can become a better me. I am no where near perfect and I have lots I need to work on. But when times are hard I know that that my Heavenly Father loves me, and I have friends and family that are there for me and support me. Thank you so much for everything you all do for me! I love you ♥

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nczw6xHJ0I

He Is Our Father

I have always been told that I am a daughter of God. I even have "I am a daughter of God" painted above my closet. I am not only a daughter of my heavenly father but I also have earthly parents. I love my parents so much and they have always been there for me. Especially that I am now in college, I realized how much I need my parents in my life. They have helped me become who I am today, I honestly wouldn't be where I am without them. In Third Nephi, Chapter 9 vs. 22, it talks about children. It talks about how we need to be like children and come unto christ. When Brother Griffin talked about his little son it made me really reflect on my life. I am just like his little son. I make mistakes, a lot of them. I can try all I want to make them better by myself, but I am not capable of doing so. If I try by myself, I will make things worse. I need help. With Jesus Christ, my savior, brother and friend, I can clean up my mistakes and start fresh. He will wipe away my tears and say I love you, it will be okay. I love him so much!! Words can not even describe how much I love him, for everything he does for me. Just like a little child who clings onto is mom or dad when they are scared or sad, I need to do the same to my savior. He is always there for me and through the atonement, he has already paid for my sins. I need to take advantage of it and not let his efforts go to waste. He is always there for me, and I love him.

Helpless with out Him

Last week in Book of Mormon, something really hit me. I have always known it, but after reading and attending class, It hit home that without Christ I can't do anything. Not to say that I am worthless or have no purpose, but I can't save myself and I need Christ in my life. In Helaman 14:13, it says that if we "believe on his name, repent of all your sins, that thereby ye may have a remission of them through his merits." The key here is that it is HIS merits, we do not set our own terms, we do what Christ wants in order to be able to live with our Heavenly Father. We also had a lesson in sunday school that also helped clear this topic up. We talked about mercy and "by his grace we are saved." There is no set mark to where we need to be. There is no point to where we stop trying, or aren't good enough to be saved. As long as we do the best we can, to be the best us, through repentance and following the prophets, Christ will be there at judgment day begging for our salvation. It isn't going to be a checklist, but more of do you deserve to be here. We will not want to be anywhere we will not be comfortable. As long as I do the best I can and keep moving forward, through Christ I will become perfect and I can not do it alone. I love this gospel. With out it I would be so lost and confused. I am thankful for prayer and the opportunity I have to be able to talk to my Heavenly Father when ever I want/need. The church is true!!

One thing that has always bothered me was how hard it is for me to stay focused. In my Book of Mormon class, my professor addressed the issue. He strongly believes that your mind wanders for a reason, wither in scripture study, class, prayer or any situation. I have a crazy life and am constantly thinking about everything and anything going on. Whenever I attend the temple, I am not always focused on spiritual aspects of life, I think about what is going on, and what I need to work on, or what I need to do by the end of the day. Brother Griffin must have been prompted to say exactly what I needed to hear. Later that day, I went to the temple, I found myself once again thinking about everything going on, with friends leaving, school work, and all my personal struggles. I knew exactly what I needed to do. With each new thing that appeared into my mind, I pondered it and prayed about it. I asked for help with schoolwork and to feel at peace with everyone leaving. The next thing that came up was a recent mistake I had made. I then began to wonder why on earth would I think of that in such a holy place, especially the Temple! But then it all clicked, right then and there I repented for what I had done, and realized why that even kept on replaying in my head whenever I tried to focus. This morning I woke up, rested, and ready for a day full of productivity and ready to check things off of my to-do list! I love this gospel; God knows each of us, and what we are going through. He sends people into our lives to help us with all our trials and fears. I want to be worthy enough to be able to help others. I am going to everything I can to be able to be prompted, and to act on those promptings so that I will be able to help others. 

One of my very best friends lost her grandpa this past week. Death is always hard even though we know that we will see them again, it is just hard to not be able to see them every day, or to hear their voice. I was struggling and not knowing what to tell her. After having book of mormon, I realized that God has our best in mind and know us each individually. I was wondering what to say to her and in Book of Mormon, Brother Griffin told us something that someone important said. They said "A righteous man doesn't die before his time." After hearing that, I immediately thought about my friend and later on that day I told her that. She was relieved and a little more peace was brought to her. I know that this doesn't pertain exactly to the doctrine of the scriptures learned in class the past week, but it strengthened my testimony. The gospel is true and each and every day there are little sweet tender mercies that make me realize how much God knows us individually and knows exactly what we need. Another sweet tender mercy was that I received a letter from my missionary. It is hard not having the people you care about in your daily life, especially those you spend so much time with. But after having a long day, I had a surprise letter that I was not expecting. In this letter, he told me how reading the scripture helped him when he was doubting himself. I know not only in my mind, but in my heart that God knows us and blesses us with scriptures and prophets in our lives. My testimony is so strong, and nothing will ever change that, but make it stronger. I love this Church and I love my Savior. If ever anyone needs anything, ask God in prayer, he will answer them and help you through any trial.

Happiness

Right now in my life, I have to deal with much loss. Not in the sense of death, but "see you laters" for all my missionary friends. It is so hard sometimes when all the guys I know are leaving, and every time I get close to someone, they leave on their mission. It not only is heart breaking, but I am becoming sick of all the tears and headaches. This past week in Book of Mormon, we were in Alma, and specifically covered chapter 50. This fit perfect into my life right now, and was exactly what I needed to hear. In this chapter, it talks about all of the fighting in the well known war chapters. Verse 22 talks specifically about how the Nephites kept the commandments of the Lord, and so they were protected and were not killed. On the other hand the Lamanites did not keep the commandments and therefore suffered much death amongst their people. It goes on to say in verse 23: "there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi." It is hard to think at such a time when there was so much death and sadness around them how they could possibly be so happy. My professor, Brother Griffin told us that Happiness doesn't just happen, it is a choice. This impacted me so much and made me really think about my life. I need to be more positive and chose to be happy! If i just follow the Lord, and keep his commandments, I will be a much happier person, and hopefully the next two years will go by fast, but at least I will be happy! (:

The Past is the Past

In Book of Mormon, We have been asked to post every week about class, and our insight regarding the weekly discussions, or assigned reading. This past week, we covered Alma chapters 36-42. I am going to focus on chapter 36, because it had the most impact on me. It focuses mostly on the past, and how we need to put it behind us, and move on. A quote that comes to mind is: "Don't let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will become." We all face trials no matter what we do. How we react to them, and the decisions we make, make us the people we are today. When meeting people, it is really important to remember that everyone has a past. I personally know that with the things I have done in life, I am not proud of all of them, but if I do my best to return to Christ, and to everyday try a little harder to be a little better, I will make progress in becoming who I want to be. When the judgment day comes, none of us will be perfect, only Christ is. We cannot come to Christ perfect that is why we have him. Through our savior, Jesus Christ, and the Atonement, we can become perfect and live with our father in Heaven, as long as we do the best we can. I need to remember to not compare myself to everyone else, but to become the best me, because that is all that I can do. The past is in the past, and when Satan tries to tempt me, and reminds me of the things I have done, I need to remind him of his future... he has none. We are all far better then we think we are, but not nearly as close to as good as we can be with Christ. "Inasmuch as ye shall keep the commandments of god, ye shall prosper in the land." The past is in the past for a reason, keep it there, and focus on the bright future ahead. As Brother Griffin always says, "just try a little harder to be a little better!" 

First Day Back!!

               Today is the first day back!! I had an amazing Christmas Break, I loved being home with my friends and family, but the whole time all I wanted to do was to be down in Provo with my college friends. They are honestly my closest friends, even though I have only known them for like four months, I feel like I can tell them anything and we are so close. 

                One of them that I am really close to is Michael Larson, he is leaving on his mission on Wednesday, and he was set apart tonight, and I don't know how I am going to survive the semester with out him, along with all the other guys that are leaving. Luckily enough, Alli and I were the last people he texted for two years, ( we are in a best friend group message) we are feeling pretty loved. We get to see him again on Wednesday before he leaves and we will spend all morning with him. The hard part is we have to say bye with handshakes, no hugs allowed. Kind of a bummer deal, but at least we get to see him! 

                After a full day of classes, Lauren, Alli, Kathryn and I are watching Pitch Perfect, our favorite movie, for the second time today! We watch it all the time, and quote it 24/7. I have so many memories with these girls, along with the rest of the fat five, and I can not wait for another full semester packed with fun and "studying." clearly, we are really good at focusing, and let's just hope we can survive another semester with better grades!